Each time I open this second-hand book, I feel as though I’m listening in on an intimate conversation between Gayle and Mary. I imagine sitting at a coffee shop, just out of view as I witness Mary hand over this very book. Wrapped in a bow. Inscribed with the loving nudge Gayle needs to keep moving. Mary’s words (and gift) providing a map of sorts, allowing Gayle to continue trudging in the direction of her unrealized dream of becoming a writer.

Last night I told my husband that I was unexpectedly surprised with how light I felt one week after deleting social media apps from my phone. I knew that laying low after knee surgery would provide me with abundant time to scroll. The longer I laid on the couch looking at square reminders of what I was missing, the more likely I was to allow the distraction to sprout roots of envy. Over scrolling always leaves me with a nagging feeling that I’m doing life all wrong. So RIP, IG.

Maybe because inside many of us, we’re constantly taking stock of what we know to be true about ourselves and what we’re still discovering. Evaluating the data, snapping into place each piece of the puzzle that brings into focus the picture of who we are and how we’re meant to contribute to the world. Like sitting down at the Cheesecake Factory, leafing through its 45-page menu, and trying to narrow down a meal choice. Knowing we hate fish, we avoid anything with seafood. But that still leaves a lot of options that could be delicious.

Not exactly sure what we want, our eyes wander around to other people’s plates. Studying how their choices appear to be serving them. What career path did Successful Sally choose? Which foods does Glossy-hair Gina avoid? And does Willowy Wanda favor strength or cardio workouts?

What’s the formula, so I can replicate it to produce similar results. Never mind you’re not wired to be a corporate accountant, or a middle-aged Youtuber crusading against beauty norms and the patriarchy. What’s her name’s version of success makes us wonder if we should be.

So when I see Mary’s friendly encouragement to her friend Gayle—telling her to read the book, gather inspiration and know-how, and then do something with it, I say a silent prayer of thanks for all the Marys in the world. Those whose perspective is clear, unobstructed by the clutter that accumulates when our sidetracked selves pull up a chair to observe how others are getting on.

Of course, the hard work is still up to Gayle (and us) because it’s our responsibility to sift through our innards, looking over the clues left by our Creator for the purpose of aiming our lives at something meaningful. But what a gift it is to have a trusted friend like Mary listen, advise, then move us along. Even if we’ve gotten ourselves stuck.

What’s that saying, God can’t steer parked cars?

xo, Janel

Journal prompts
1. Is there someone in your orbit who’s in a pivotal season of life? What would constructive encouragement look like? Can you take time next week to provide it?

2. Now pretend you’re Gayle. If someone close to you were to nudge you along, what would be most beneficial? If you need it, who’s a friend you can call for input?