“How’s it going?” “Good to see you!” I hear my husband call out. He’s perched on our front stoop, coffee mug in hand, trading hellos with familiar faces. I’m inside, but his casual morning ritual makes me smile. Because it says something great about the small town we live in (Berlin, MD).

And more importantly, it reminds me that friendship, in all stages—whether waving to strangers from the front porch, or life-long relationships—is a valuable gift.

I recently caught up with a friend I’ve known for 34 years.(😱) We talked happy times, the joys of outgrowing our younger selves, disappointment, failure, relationships, aging parents. Absent from the conversation was any inhibition. No verbal gymnastics designed to airbrush reality or make us sound more accomplished or in a better place than we are.

Maybe it’s because it’s downright ridiculous to be anyone except your unvarnished self with someone who’s known you back when posters of rock ‘n roll hair bands adorned high school bedrooms. Someone who was as relentless in her application of Aqua Net as you were. Someone with whom you spent decades swigging box wine while lamenting broken hearts over boys with mullets. 🥴

Souls knit together by time, laughter, experience.

I’ve noticed in the age of social media how easy it is to abdicate my responsibilities as a friend. It requires little to no effort to like a picture, post a comment. Instead of sending a card, writing an email, or picking up the phone. Heck, even a text to keep in touch. I keep trying to improve at this, recognizing that shallow connection is no substitute for the real deal.

I guess all I’m saying is I want to be the kind of person who values her relationships. Both old and new. Someone who isn’t too busy, but makes the space, and sacrifice, required for friendships to thrive.

So, as I watch Brett wave to strangers, make small talk from the porch, I’m reminded that friendship is really about little deposits of kindness. Gestures that compound over time, developing into something meaningful. And lasting.

As you go about your holiday weekend. I hope you get some time to connect with the people you care about. Whether old pals or new acquaintances. And I hope you get a few belly laughs out of the exchange.